Kardia

Calling all self-proclaimed mangaka!

Kardia

Postby Syreth » Tue Aug 16, 2005 10:56 am

Kardia
URL: http://kardia.theproject.us/
Special thanks to The Project for hosting!

Description
Genre: Action/Comedy
Target audience: Shonen, anyone really!
Brief description: Kardia was a private organization with the purpose of fighting crime and unmasking evil. Three years ago, Kardia disbanded because of personal conflict. Now, the team leader recieves an unexpected phone call and Kardia must put aside their differences and become a team once more to embark on the mission of a lifetime!
Updates: Updated chapter 1, pages 1-3, posted October 18, 2006

Ratings
Age: 10+
Violence: 5 - Includes your everyday punch and kick, but no blood/gore.
Language: 2 - For non-vulgar insults
Sexual Content: 0 - None
Nudity: 0 - None
Bad Religion: 2 - Some characters have bad attitudes (I suppose this merits a '2' rating?)

If you have any disagreements with any of the ratings, please let me know right away and I will change them as needed. Also, if you have any questions, comments, critiques or anything helpful you'd like to say, feel free. I'm open to any way that I can improve Kardia. Hope you guys enjoy!
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Postby Sakura15 » Tue Aug 16, 2005 12:03 pm

This looks really cool ^^
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Postby bigsleepj » Wed Aug 17, 2005 12:48 am

Interesting read so far. I'd really like to see the rest of it. :D
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Postby Syreth » Wed Aug 17, 2005 9:25 am

bigsleepj wrote:Interesting read so far. I'd really like to see the rest of it. :D

Hey me too! I just have to keep at it. Unfortunately, there probably won't be an unpdate for about 4 months or so, unless I can get on a computer down at school that can upload stuff. But the upside of that is that the next update will probably be a big one. Thanks guys, for the encouragement.
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Postby Mave » Wed Aug 17, 2005 7:21 pm

I hope you get a computer, then! XD

Looking good to me, nice debut~
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Postby bigsleepj » Wed Aug 17, 2005 11:53 pm

Syreth wrote:Hey me too! I just have to keep at it. Unfortunately, there probably won't be an unpdate for about 4 months or so, unless I can get on a computer down at school that can upload stuff. But the upside of that is that the next update will probably be a big one. Thanks guys, for the encouragement.

Aw nuts. That's something of a set-back for your readers, I should say.
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Postby Syreth » Thu Aug 18, 2005 12:40 am

bigsleepj wrote:Aw nuts. That's something of a set-back for your readers, I should say.

Hmm... you're right. I'll do my best to keep my eyes open for a chance to update while I'm down at college. On the bright side, this should be the last big gap for some time.
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Postby bigsleepj » Thu Aug 18, 2005 1:16 am

Well - its better than starting something and never updating it (like me ;) ) but at least it would be a big update. Anyway, we're looking forward to it.
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Postby uc pseudonym » Thu Aug 18, 2005 7:30 am

I like what I see so far, and I'm interested in some of the characters. My other observations will be pretty minor.

On page 5, I believe the common spelling is "femi-nazi" though I could be wrong.
On that same page, it is ironic that Ben calls Byron "four-eyes" given that he has glasses himself.
On page 10, "How contradictory" is a good line, but I think a word other than contradictory would be better. "Ironic" perhaps?
Page 15's layout doesn't necessarily flow. The combat was good, though.

Overall, I see a lot of potential in this, and I'll read more... however long it takes.
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Postby Syreth » Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:55 am

uc pseudonym wrote:I like what I see so far, and I'm interested in some of the characters. My other observations will be pretty minor.

I really appreciate the encouragement, as well as the helpful comments.
On page 5, I believe the common spelling is "femi-nazi" though I could be wrong.

I've never heard the term "femi-nazi" before, but that could just be my own ignorance.
On that same page, it is ironic that Ben calls Byron "four-eyes" given that he has glasses himself.

Someone else actually commented on this as well. I actually intended Ben to be wearing sunglases, although it isn't very obvious. I would have darkened them more, but I wanted them to be a sort of dark-orange tint. Unfortunately, this doeesn't show up well without colors or tones on the characters. I'll do something in the next update to remedy this.
On page 10, "How contradictory" is a good line, but I think a word other than contradictory would be better. "Ironic" perhaps?

:lol: I like contradictory 'cause it's a longer word and makes it seem like he's trying to sound smarter. I do agree, though, that ironic would be a more technically appropriate word.
Page 15's layout doesn't necessarily flow. The combat was good, though.

Hmm... I see what you mean. I'll definately put more thought into the paneling next time.
Overall, I see a lot of potential in this, and I'll read more... however long it takes.

What a blessing to have patient readers thus far! :thumb:
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Postby meboeck » Mon Sep 05, 2005 11:47 am

I like this a lot! It has a cool message too. I will also be patient. Just let us know when you do update so I can read more!
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Postby Syreth » Sat Dec 17, 2005 3:51 pm

I've started to update and have the first two pages of chapter 2 up. At Bible College I got quite a bit of work done on the story but didn't get as much art completed as I would have liked to. Anyhow, hope you guys like how it goes.
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Postby uc pseudonym » Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:10 pm

Glad to see this updated. I am interested to see where you are taking this plot.
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Postby meboeck » Sun Dec 18, 2005 7:54 am

Um, I'm not seeing the update. Am I missing something?
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Postby Syreth » Sun Dec 18, 2005 1:52 pm

Hmm... I'm not sure what the problem is. Are the links broken for you, or do you not see the first two pages of chapter two? I tested them out and they should be working. Here's the web address for the manga archive if it helps.

http://www.kcome.net/kardia/manga.htm
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Postby meboeck » Sun Dec 18, 2005 5:27 pm

Before I didn't see the new links at all, but now they have appeared! Yay!

uc pseudonym wrote:I am interested to see where you are taking this plot.


My thoughts exactly.
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Postby Syreth » Sun Dec 18, 2005 6:58 pm

Well, I posted a new page and added some screentone stuff to this one. Hopefully this will make it look a little more interesting.
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Postby uc pseudonym » Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:09 pm

Yes, the screentoning helps.

Aside, is Chapter 2 going to have a cover eventually, or are you using a different method?
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Postby Syreth » Mon Dec 19, 2005 6:12 pm

Yeah, chapter 2 will have a cover eventually. I was thinking of doing the covers after I draw the chapters, but now that I think about it, that probably wouldn't be such a good idea. Anyhow, I should have another page up by the end of the day. Thanks for the feedback. Oh, by the way, I accidentally forgot to give Ben's sunglases screentones, so I'll be adding that too.
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Postby Mave » Wed Dec 21, 2005 3:50 pm

The screentones make the pages look much better. Great job! :thumb:

Welcome back~ XD
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Postby Syreth » Sun Jan 01, 2006 2:36 am

Well, sorry for the lull in the updates, but page 6 of chapter 2 is finally up. I had to take a break for hanging out with my family and working on some side projects for some friends.
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Postby c.t.,girl » Sun Jan 01, 2006 5:46 am

gah! i want more! @.@ it's so good! wo0t! \^o^/
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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Postby Syreth » Sun Jan 01, 2006 7:13 pm

c.t.,girl wrote:gah! i want more! @.@ it's so good! wo0t! \^o^/

Glad to hear you like it! [Random comment]AH! A Phil Wickham fan[/Random comment]
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Postby Sakura15 » Sun Jan 01, 2006 8:12 pm

Ooo! chapter 2! lol..yes..I realize im somewhat behind..sorry lol.

Awesome job! ^-^
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Postby c.t.,girl » Sun Jan 01, 2006 11:22 pm

Syreth wrote:Glad to hear you like it! [Random comment]AH! A Phil Wickham fan[/Random comment]

*squinty eye* and WHAT'S wrong with being a Phil Wickham fan?!
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor

"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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Postby Syreth » Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:13 am

Well, there's nothing wrong with it except for the fact that Phil Whickam is awesome (hmm... i don't think that counts). Well, I really like him. He's a good songwriter. He played at my school quite a few times and I went to school with his sister and she was nice. Anyhow! Sankyuu Sakura-chan!
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Postby Sakura15 » Mon Jan 02, 2006 1:32 pm

Syreth wrote: Anyhow! Sankyuu Sakura-chan!


Your welcome, Sy-chan ^-^
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Postby Syreth » Mon Jan 09, 2006 4:21 pm

The cover of chapter 2 is finally up, along with page 7 to those who didn't catch it. This marks the end of my long task of screentoning the pages I did at Bible college.
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Postby Sakura15 » Wed Jan 11, 2006 5:07 pm

lol, nice job Sy.
[color="SeaGreen"]
"For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." -Isaiah 41:13
[/color]

[font="Georgia"]
Sakura's Deviantart
[/font]
[color="DeepSkyBlue"]
For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?- Starfield
[/color]
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Postby Mave » Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:29 am

LOL this team sure is dysfuntional. That's a lot of squabbling within 2 chapters hehehe. OK, I'm curious to see what happens next.

Btw, I also like how you colored the cover page as well.
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