Steelblood

Calling all self-proclaimed mangaka!

Postby uc pseudonym » Fri Mar 05, 2004 1:11 pm

[quote="inkhana"]UC, if you have more to say, feel free to say it. Most of my initial sensitivity to critique is gone (I won't say ALL of it]

The problem lies in the "something I can learn from" part. I don't think I have anything to say that'd be constructive. All you should take out of my "more or less" is that I'm not going to absolutely gush about it, though I don't have any major complaints. Everything flowed, I have no art complaints (I have yet to ever have art complaints...), etc.
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Postby inkhana » Fri Mar 05, 2004 1:23 pm

Saint Kevin wrote:Funky looking pair of scissors on page 4 (and 5). Also, it's probably not your fault, but almost all of chapter 5 is way too dark. If I hadn't turned the gamma all the way up on my monitor, I wouldn't have been able to follow it all. My biggest advice (and what do I know about art anyway) is that there could have been more backgrounds. That's more like an icing on the cake kind of thing really - they don't really add much plotwise, and probably take a long time to do. Other than that, this is great stuff. That, and beggars can't be choosers :). Keep up the excellent manga Ink, can't wait to see what happens next.

EDIT: I couldn't get it right on the chapter 5 (not 4) thing either. *sigh*


[color=darkgreen]This is actually very helpful, Kevin. My monitor is dying on me, so I can't rely on its output to be exactly what everyone sees (it's probably showing much lighter now...grah). Having said that, I will no longer use my darkest tone. I will probably also go back and alter the darkness on some of the pages at a later time.

Backgrounds = weakness...:P I'm getting better though, so they may pop up more often.

The scissors were modeled after a pair of sewing scissors I saw in a catalog once...:) I wanted them to be more than plain scissors, but I'm not very good at designs like that...^^]


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby inkhana » Fri Mar 05, 2004 3:32 pm

Sorry for the double post, but I went in and corrected some of the darkness issues on some of the pages. Kevin, if you could do me a favor and visit this page and tell me if it's too dark still, that would be great.

http://steelblood.christianmanga.com/manga/manga.php?chapter=5&page=3&commentary=off

Thanks!


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby madphilb » Fri Mar 05, 2004 7:54 pm

Ink, more fine work you got there... great addition to the story, and leaves me wanting more ;)

*Edit: just thought I'd add too that I liked the scissors that you drew, I know I've seen similar before, and they appear to be the kind of classy thing you might find in a fancy rich-person's castle rather than the rather crude shears that a poorer person might have. Nice Touch.

BTW, care to discuss your problem with backgrounds, you seem to be doing fine.

(oh, and don't forget to check the bottom of MY signature ;) )
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Postby MasterDias » Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:20 pm

It's coming along fine. I'm enjoying it.
I don't really have any constructive criticism or anything about it myself. I thought that the backgrounds were good enough.
Chapter was a little on the short side compared to the last two chapters...

So, have you finished chapter 6 yet? :sweat:
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Postby inkhana » Fri Mar 05, 2004 8:59 pm

madphilb wrote:BTW, care to discuss your problem with backgrounds, you seem to be doing fine.


(about the scissors) Thanks...^^

The main thing I have problems with (in ref to backgrounds) is perspective. When I initially began drawing, I did little but character sketches. Anything with a background came but seldom. At one point, I cut them out entirely in annoyance (although I will concede, I did a couple of paintings for my mom. The waterfall ones were nice enough...but they were rather impressionistic and the skill didn't translate to pencil drawings). I also have a rather poor hand with inks on anything other than people (again, the inexperience thing). I did do some ink stuff that was like...shaded...or whatever you might call it (and it had some meager backgrounds), but I did not know how to do anything that was rendered solely as lineart. Textures without using...like...crosshatching strokes or something like that is a hair foreign to me, so learning how to do all of this has been something of a trial (albeit a necessary one and I can hardly complain). I have learned a few things about perspective since I started SB, but I feel as if I have a very long way to go before I reach a place where I will be even remotely happy with them. What I just need to do is take some time to actually train for it, as I did with other things, but the problem is, I end up wanting to work on things like drawing action instead, because I find that more interesting. I guess that's pretty much the whole problem right there...^^]

(oh, and don't forget to check the bottom of MY signature ;) )


[color=DarkGreen]Mmmhmm. I'll thank you and Duckie later...when I think of something...er, nice to do to...er, for you. :evil:


Chapter was a little on the short side compared to the last two chapters...


Yeah, it was a little short...-_-;; It just kinda ended up that way. Well, I do know this: chapter seven, like ch4, will make up for it, esp since I plan to put out 7 and the epilogue at the same time.

So, have you finished chapter 6 yet?


Actually, yes I have. I'm just keeping you all in suspense! BWA HA HA HA HA!


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby TheMelodyMaker » Fri Mar 05, 2004 9:08 pm

I haven't had a chance to look at Chapter 5 yet, but I'm sure you did a really good jorb. :thumb:
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Postby skynes » Sat Mar 06, 2004 5:45 am

YOU HAVE 6 finished!!!!!! EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA SEE IT!!!!!!
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Postby madphilb » Sat Mar 06, 2004 12:19 pm

inkhana wrote:The main thing I have problems with (in ref to backgrounds) is perspective.


This is understandable... I've got a drafting background and have done some perspective stuff from time gone by, but I'm not much of an artist (sadly), more of a numbers man.

Alot of people don't have a good eye for perspective, but I'm not convinced it's you... your city scene was pretty good, but if it's not second nature for you I can see where that would be rough on you.

My advice (for what it's worth), keep at it, get some learning resources on drawing in perspective, and practice, practice, practice. You're doing good (and feel free, if you want/need to bounch something off me.... I'e got a pretty good eye for perspective, even if I have no depth perception in real life ;)

Anyway... thanks for sharing, it's looking good.


Oh, wanted to add too, the joke with the sweatdrop, was pretty funny.... I'm not sure how non-anime people will take it, but it's kinda a nice inside nod to us fans.
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Postby uc pseudonym » Sat Mar 06, 2004 12:23 pm

That was actually the whole of chapter 5? I figured that you had posted a partial chapter. Odd indeed.

Very well, I do have some constructive criticism. Plan things out quite a ways before hand so you can get an issue 14-22 pages in length (by "plan things out" I mean the number of pages various events will consume). Consistancy doesn't matter greatly in webcomics, but is more important for a manga. Every chapter does not have to form a coherent whole, nor do the endings have to be suspenseful every time.
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Postby inkhana » Sat Mar 06, 2004 2:01 pm

Very well, I do have some constructive criticism. Plan things out quite a ways before hand so you can get an issue 14-22 pages in length (by "plan things out" I mean the number of pages various events will consume). Consistancy doesn't matter greatly in webcomics, but is more important for a manga. Every chapter does not have to form a coherent whole, nor do the endings have to be suspenseful every time.


This is definitely the author in me coming out. I tend to slap a chapter ending in whatever place is logical (or looks good), which, as you mentioned, results in vastly different chapter lengths (which would be fine for a novel, but tends to be a little more disruptive in a graphic format). Of course, once the manga's complete, it would be a moot point (since you can just progress to the next chapter) but right now, I can see why this would be very frustrating to the reader...-_-;; I can also see how it would be frustrating to end an update on an irrelevant point also, however...O.o


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby uc pseudonym » Sat Mar 06, 2004 2:13 pm

Well, a humorous ending can be just as enjoyable as a serious chapter ending. Also, I've found that just about any element can be made much more serious with proper work (Naruto is a good example of this... almost every single issue ends on a very good note, and it doesn't feel contrived). I may have better comments for you at a later date.

Nice sig, by the way.

LATER DATE: For example, pages 25+ in issue 4 are somewhat different from the rest of the chapter. This could very well be a chapter break, with just the briefest of recaps at the beginning of issue 5 (though Cail in front of the mirror is pretty good). Also, the end of issue 4 would need just a bit of work.

Not that I'm suggesting you do this, just saying that this type of thing could have made both chapters more balanced, size-wise.
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Postby inkhana » Sat Mar 06, 2004 3:13 pm

Thanks...^^ I'll try taking this into account in later issues.


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby Inferno » Sun Mar 07, 2004 1:14 pm

WOW! I could spend hours and hours on your site Ink! can't wait for an update!
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Postby Mave » Sun Mar 07, 2004 11:23 pm

aarrghh, how did I miss this update? :hits_self :hits_self

Cool job Inky! You're getting better and better each time, I love your progress! :thumb:

General comments:
1) Like someone said, the tones seem a little too dark, eventhough I know most of everything is occurring in the night hehe. Otherwise, excellent execution of screentones. ^^
2) The bite was so funny! :lol: I love the chibi effect. Cool! You're good at it!
3) UC said this, 'keeping the number of pages consistent" ah I know that's not easy to do. I usually try to keep mine around 10-15 pages per Chapter.

*salutes Inky* Awesome!
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Postby Taslin_Jewel » Mon Mar 08, 2004 2:54 pm

New Chapter! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Mon Mar 08, 2004 7:27 pm

I read Chapter 5 and... uh, uh, it stopped. That was a short chapter - but, a VERY GOOD short chapter. ^_^

Great, Ink! I'm not even sure if I've ever commented on your comic before. I read it, and I realized I don't think I've ever told you how much I like it.

Sorry, I'll try to frequent your site more often. Thanks for staying faithful. ^^ How long do you think this will eventually be?

[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE


You see into the deepest part of me ---

beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

until I stand before Your presence...

a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


~by D.M.~

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Postby inkhana » Mon Mar 08, 2004 7:47 pm

>I read Chapter 5 and... uh, uh, it stopped. That was a short chapter - but, a VERY GOOD short chapter. ^_^

It was definitely short, all right...:lol:

>Great, Ink! I'm not even sure if I've ever commented on your comic before. I read it, and I realized I don't think I've ever told you how much I like it.

I think we might have talked about it briefly on IM at one point (remember that night we were talking to Shaundra (Shandra?)? It was then, I reckon. But thank you. ^^

>Sorry, I'll try to frequent your site more often. Thanks for staying faithful. ^^ How long do you think this will eventually be?

There are three more chapters remaining until issue 1 is complete (unless you're talking about the total length, which...I have no idea...^^;; ) consisting of two chapters and an epilogue. If chapter 7 ends up running over and running the risk of becoming superlong, I'll chop it into two, in keeping with some of the things UC and Mave (and probably someone else...^^;; ) already suggested, and possibly blend the epilogue into the last chapter. I would guess I could probably have it finished sometime during the summer, but I'm not certain. Especially since I keep WANTING TO REWRITE CHAPTER SIX! *cries* Every time I turn around, I think of a new detail to put in and I have to set up the dialogue all over again...heh...this is just the way I work. I'll be making alterations all the way down to the very end.


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby Retten » Tue Mar 09, 2004 2:47 pm

Wow I cant belive I missed this up to now :hits_self
This chapter was really good even though it was short I really liked the ending lol and it was easy ;)
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Postby Will Smith, Jr » Fri Mar 19, 2004 3:30 pm

What a way to start the weekend with a good dose of Steelblood. HMmm-mm. Short and sweet and good. I didn't even know you added more pages to chapter 4. And if you need to rewrite chapter 6, that's fine by me. That means something good is coming.

I like the new layout of the website with my favorite quote in all of Steelblood. I would love to blow that whole page on a poster or something.

Patiently waiting Ch. 6

Do you have plans on publishing this or keeping it all on the web?

Blessings,
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Postby inkhana » Wed Mar 24, 2004 9:47 am

Hi WillieDoc! Long time no see! :D

>Do you have plans on publishing this or keeping it all on the web?

No, I don't have any plans to publish it...I'd like to keep it all on the internet so anyone may read it. When I started SB, this was something I told myself - I wasn't going to publish it. (maybe the next story I do? haha :P ). Not that there's anything wrong with selling Christian work.

Although even if I were going to, I don't have enough money to have it printed... :red: I guess someday when all issues are complete, I might offer hardcopies to those who wanted them (to share with their offline friends, etc, if they wanted to)...maybe offer them at base price from Cafepress or something so I wouldn't make a profit.


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby madphilb » Wed Mar 24, 2004 4:41 pm

inkhana wrote:Hi WillieDoc! Long time no see! :D

>Do you have plans on publishing this or keeping it all on the web?

No, I don't have any plans to publish it...I'd like to keep it all on the internet so anyone may read it. When I started SB, this was something I told myself - I wasn't going to publish it. (maybe the next story I do? haha :P ).

There are quite a few online projects that have been published, who knows what may happen yet....

Megatokyo not only has a 2nd book out now, but it's being printed by Dark Horse Comics! :O

You'd be amazed what God can do ;)
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Postby Will Smith, Jr » Fri Mar 26, 2004 3:04 pm

I like to have the hardcopy of great works and this would be one of them. And nothing is wrong with making a profit for the talent God has given you. My PM to you from way back still stands.

Hey Phil, is Megatokyo Christian based or something?
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Postby inkhana » Fri Mar 26, 2004 4:09 pm

I like to have the hardcopy of great works and this would be one of them. And nothing is wrong with making a profit for the talent God has given you. My PM to you from way back still stands.


^^ That's very sweet of you. TBH, I've been considering putting up the first issue of SB on Cafepress when it was finished (I wanted to order a couple), but unfortunately, there's no way I can get it priced under ten dollars (my calculations came to 10.78...and that's before shipping, if I recall). I wanted to have a hardcopy for my own ref, but if/when I do put it up, I'll let everyone know so they can order a copy also, if they don't mind a price higher than other manga.


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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Postby madphilb » Fri Mar 26, 2004 6:33 pm

Will Smith, Jr wrote:Hey Phil, is Megatokyo Christian based or something?

Sadly, no (but I still like it ;) ).... my point was more along the lines of the fact that if it can happen with Fred, it's possible it could happen with Ink as well (esp. since Ink's got God on her side).
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Postby JediSonic » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:40 am

lol yeah I loved the ending too! *cant wait for next installment*
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Postby skynes » Sat Mar 27, 2004 2:27 pm

Megatokyo's pretty cool. Largo is just hilarious... :P

Ink I think if you published your stuff you'd get quite a big fanbase. I don't like fantasy type manga yet I love SteelBlood. Ergo: SteelBlood rocks.
I am the Reaper of Souls... and it's harvest time.

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Postby uc pseudonym » Sat Mar 27, 2004 4:06 pm

I think it would be a good idea. There's considerable power in hardcopy. Even if you sold at base price, you still would be increasing the amount you could accomplish, as money isn't your objective.
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Postby Gypsy » Mon Apr 05, 2004 2:15 pm

Whoa! This thread almost went to the second page! Can't have that, now can we?

Hey, Ink ....
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Postby inkhana » Mon Apr 05, 2004 2:35 pm

Actually, that's really cute, Gypsy...XD I found some pics of horses (TOOK ME FOREVER!) but I think now I may be able to finish the last panel on the last page of the last...no, not chapter! Gotcha...;) Actually, I haven't even started coloring/toning the pages yet. And my tablet has gone nuts...*cries*


BOOSTER: Hey, No.1! Where's my cake?!
SNIFIT 1: Booster, Sir! There's a 70% chance the object you're standing on is a cake.
BOOSTER: What? THIS thing's a cake?

You have the power to say anything you want, so why not say something positive?
- Frank Capra

(in response to an interview question "Do you have a pet peeve having to do with this biz?")
People who write below their abilities in order to crank out tons of books and make a buck. Especially Christian authors who do that. Outsiders judge us for it, and make fun of us for it, and it makes Jesus look bad. We of all artists on earth should be the most concerned with doing our best possible work at all times. We of all people should write with all our hearts, as if writing for the Lord and not for men.
- Athol Dickson


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