Page 1 of 1

The best/worst jokes

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2015 4:26 pm
by TheAlbinoMoose
Here's the worst:
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of coordination?
I'm sorry.

Here's one of my favorites (it's something along the lines of this):
So a guy asks a girl to prom, and goes to rent a limo. The line is super long, and he waits two hours, but eventually he gets it. Then he goes to get himself a suit. The line at the cashier is, again, very long, and he waits for an hour, but eventually he gets his suit. Then he goes to get a haircut, and waits in line for two hours. Then he goes to get her flowers. The line is, again, very long, and he waits for an hour and a half, but eventually he gets the flowers. Finally, he's at prom with her. They dance, then she says she is thirsty. He goes to get her something to drink, and there is no punchline.
I'm sorry.

Re: The best/worst jokes

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 1:52 pm
by Panda4christ:3
Typing this one up from memory.

So this guy had been saving up all his money to buy this brand new SUV. It had all the new special features and gadgets. He decided to see how it would drive in the desert, so he took it for a spin. He drives into the desert for a while until he realizes his gas is really low. Being halfway through the desert, he can't really turn back and the car runs out of gas. The man leaves his vehicle and tries to walk it. Soon, he comes upon an oasis, he's overjoyed and runs to it. At the front of the oasis is a snake, the snake introduces itself as Nate the wish granting snake and says if the man drinks the water from the oasis he'll grant wishes for him. So the man drinks some water and wishes to be back in his SUV filled with gas, and Nate grants his wish.
So the man starts coming to see Nate regularly and have his wishes granted. Soon, for convenience reasons the man gives the snake a phone so he can talk to him anytime. One day, the snake calls him up saying "hey man, I'm feeling really suicidal and I need you to come see me. Me being a snake the only way I can kill myself is with this lever that I can pull that'll end the world". The man agrees to see him and hops in his SUV . So he's driving into the desert and doesn't see Nate and runs over him.
The man stops the car and sees the snake body he chuckles and says "well, better Nate then lever".

I hate myself for telling that joke to people.

Also, what do ghosts wear when it rains?


Re: The best/worst jokes

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 6:24 pm
by Wolfsong
Whatcha call a camel taking acting lessons?

A drama-dary.

...I hate myself...*sobs*

Re: The best/worst jokes

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2015 6:32 pm
by MomentOfInertia
What do you call a cow with no legs?

SPOILER: Highlight text to read: Ground beef