Granted. You own a boomerang that looks like a banana. It looks really cool. But, when showing it off to some acquantainces, it gets out of your control and it strikes a nearby police officer! The others panic and run, and you reflexively follow them, but the officer tackles you from behind and arrests you. You are sentenced to do community service to get out of jail, and one day your service group is helping grow bananas in a botanical garden, when a banana falls out of a tree and as you grab it it makes a loud BANG sound. It's a gun! Before you have a chance to react, police are crawling all over you and they haul you off to jail where you are sentenced to two years. But your wish is not finished with you! After stewing in your cell for a month, the sliced bananas on your food tray suddenly reassemble themselves into a whole banana; a banana peel wraps itself around half and the other half becomes sharp like a knife. This is incredible! You try it on the iron bars on your door and it cuts clean through. You realize what a bad idea that was as the guard outside stares at you with surprise. You try to drop it but it won't leave your hand. The guard, interpreting your flailing as aggression, pulls out his gun and calls for backup. You finally manage to let go, but by then it's too late. The next day you are transferred to a maximum security prison on an island far away from any bananas or banana-related merchandise. You are fed nothing but bread and synthetic protein. You don't know how long you've spent here, but it's been at least a year. One day you feel a strange feeling, like somebody is calling to you. You look up to the sky and you see a giant banana falling from space toward you. It falls down with a deafening rumble and crushes the entire prison and everyone in it, except for you. It is as big as a house. You hear it speaking in your mind without words: "It is time." "Yes," you reply, as you walk solemnly up to it and touch your hand to it. Suddenly you and the banana are rushing up into the sky, with exhilarating speed. The land grows smaller and the sky grows dimmer. You and the banana go all the way up into space. For some reason you can still breathe, but you don't even notice. You are entranced by the beauty of the planet Earth below you, which looks like a swirly blue pearl. You grip the giant banana by the stem and point the flower end toward the earth. Memories of your happy life below flood to your mind and a single tear graces your cheek. The banana fires a blindingly bright laser. Slowly, the planet is enveloped in orange and grey dust. The land has melted and the sea has evaporated. All life on the surface is gone. You have nothing left to live for, so you let go of the banana and drift off into space. The banana flies off to find the next planet. You lose consciousness.
*phew* I wish I could sleep peacefully.