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My English Assignments!

PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:51 pm
by Ally-Ann
I'm pretty darn sure this is in the right place. If not, oh, well. Someone'll move it. I'll just post some of my English assignments here to see what ya'll think of them.

Dialogue practice-- Using plenty of dialogue, write a one-page episode.

"Ugh. I hate the school cafeteria," Emma said monotonously, stirring around what was supposed to be meat loaf with her fork.
"Oh, come on. It's not that bad! Just plug your nose and eat it really quickly." Amy said, optimism evident in her voice as usual. Emma just grimaced at the poor excuse for food on her tray.
"I'd rather chew my own fingers off... without salt," Came the dull reply from Emma.
Amy just rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Emma, just, like, get it over with! You won't be hungry afterwards," Amy chattered, tossing her hair behind her back in a way that would put a cheer leader to shame.
"No. It smells like old gym socks and looks like nuclear waste. I'm not going to eat that abomination."
"You'll be, like, totally sorry later. We have that math test later on, and I don't know about you, but I, like, can't concentrate when I'm hungry."
"Whatever. I'd rather flunk the test than get my stomach pumped."
Amy just sighed. "Suit yourself."

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 6:09 am
by TWWK
Very nice! I saw one little proofreading error (you used a period instead a necessary comma at one point). Otherwise, your dialogue was well-written. :)

PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:19 am
by Beau Soir
That's great, Ally! I echo what TWWK said. Also, if you want to avoid confusion at the end of the first line, you could replace "stirring around what was supposed to be meat loaf with her fork" with "using her fork to stir around what was supposed to be meat loaf."
Either way, you wrote an excellent blurb there. :)