It's sad when this happens; any advice?

Talk about anything in here.

It's sad when this happens; any advice?

Postby phantomeofanime » Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:57 pm

Today me and one of my old friends got into a big fight because she was bullying and ignoring one of my other friends.
I tried talking to her about it, but she wouldn't listen, and now she hates me.
I told my other friend about it, and she was glad i tried, even though nothing helped
It's really depressing when this happens because it feels like my friends have decided to go in opposite directions, one with the faith, one without.
Anyone have any advice on what i should do to make us all happy again?
PhantomEofAnime
"There's no such thing as a painless lesson...they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary...you can't gain anything without losing something first. Although...if you can endure that pain, and walk away from it...you will find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle.....yeah...a heart made fullmetal." -- Fullmetal alchemist Brotherhood.

"Never Judge a peron by their past, you should always love them in the present and help them in the future." -- Me

"It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees." -- Psalm 119:71
User avatar
phantomeofanime
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:18 pm
Location: it always changes

Re: It's sad when this happens; any advice?

Postby SierraLea » Thu Jun 20, 2013 12:32 pm

The first thing I'd do is get both sides of the story, if possible. Understanding a conflict plays a part in resolving it.
Second, examine your actions. Is something you did or said unacceptable? It doesn't sound like it in this case.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. If it comes to choosing sides, be sure to know which side is more important to you and why, so you can explain it to the other side in detail to avoid unpleasantries. The best way to do this is in writing, like an email. Written words can reach a person after the high emotions have passed and they can see reason again.
User avatar
SierraLea
 
Posts: 1255
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 7:57 am
Location: the epitome of laugher

Re: It's sad when this happens; any advice?

Postby Jingo Jaden » Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:09 pm

Bullying and ignoring? That does not make a whole lot of sense. Ignoring is a perfectly reasonable tool if one has encountered a person one does not stay too fond of. It's neither meant to provoke nor offend, just get some peace.

Secondly if you thoroughly deem your actions and intent pure, make sure you examine the possibility that the way you expressed your concerns was not A - Formulated in a way that might unintentionally offend, or B - Not construed in a way that would provoke at a fragile time. If those two checks out fine, then you've probably become collateral in a good old fashioned squabble. Us men have a word for that, but it is an obcenity. Part of growing up is respecting choices one may not agree with, and understanding that people do change. So the most amicable thing is to try to be tactful when it inevitably presents certain barriers.

And what do you mean? One with faith and one without? Faith in you? Faith in eachother? Faith in God? If someone was to abandon their faith in God due to breaking up as friends with someone, then it is fairly safe to assume it had no real base to begin with. As far as your last sentance goes. I mean it entirely depends. Sometimes cutting ones losses is alright, sometimes rengagement is the way to go if it was a stupid situation. Sometimes it is best not to o anything at all, but you can of course pray.
User avatar
Jingo Jaden
 
Posts: 2175
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 2:26 pm
Location: Norway

Re: It's sad when this happens; any advice?

Postby Yuki-Anne » Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:51 pm

Having only heard your side, I can't objectively analyze the situation. Have you been able to ascertain the reasons behind the bullying and ignoring?

And jumping off of what Jingo said, sometimes you just have to let old friendships die, because it's probably already dead for at least one of you, and there's not a point in clinging to the past when the results are unhealthy and painful for one or all of you.
Image
New and improved Yuki-Anne: now with blog: http://anneinjapan.blog.com
User avatar
Yuki-Anne
 
Posts: 1637
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:33 am
Location: Japan

Re: It's sad when this happens; any advice?

Postby theresistance07 » Tue Jul 09, 2013 2:09 pm

Yuki-Anne wrote:Having only heard your side, I can't objectively analyze the situation. Have you been able to ascertain the reasons behind the bullying and ignoring?

And jumping off of what Jingo said, sometimes you just have to let old friendships die, because it's probably already dead for at least one of you, and there's not a point in clinging to the past when the results are unhealthy and painful for one or all of you.



lmbo! WOW. The pic of this cat just made my day!!!!! :lol:

OAN I agree on the friendship piece. As we grow older we change. Our friends change. And its a painful process to let someone go but once you feel you have made your best effort then I would suggest leaving the situation alone. If the other person still "has the heart" for the times you all were friends hopefully they will say or do something to open that back up and the relationship can start to heal. If not, then I suggest not becoming caught in the middle of it. I believe ppl come into our lives for a time, purpose and a season. Maybe its time to let that person go and if anything love them from a distance (until such a time they may ever return)
theresistance07
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sat Jul 06, 2013 5:30 am


Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 263 guests

cron