CAA: Christian Anime Alliance

Hi...

So, lately i feel like i'm continually failing God.
Like all i can do is mess-up, and i'm scared i may not really be a christian
or something. Half the time i'm doubting God.
It seems like everything i do is some kind of horrible sin.

Is there something wrong with me? Am i not good enough? I don't understand, i'm just scared and confused...and i don't know what to do...

Relax! You can talk to God even when you feel like you are miles apart, and He listens. Be assured that God doesn't want you to feel like this. Remember that what Jesus did on the cross cleaned you completely, no matter how much you have sinned. We are saved by grace and not by our own works, so you don't need to feel like you're not good enough, because it was never about how good you were. It was all about what Jesus did for you, only through Him we become clean.

So if you feel lost and confused, if you mess up all the time, if you fail all the time, He still loves you, even more than you could ever imagine. Just let God know how you feel, and pray for help and forgiveness. The fact that you even feel this way indicates that you care and believe, so don't worry, instead let Him save you from this and let Him help you. And remember that what you are going through is something almost every believer go through at some point, Satan wants you to feel worthless and guilty. But Jesus have already defeated Him, and in doing so he has defeated sin.

Lastly I'd like to send a link to a song which you might relate, I can at least!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXV6FsrZGI4

Panda4christ:3 (post: 1598444) wrote:Hi...

Hello. :3

So, lately i feel like i'm continually failing God.
Like all i can do is mess-up, and i'm scared i may not really be a christian
or something. Half the time i'm doubting God.

Doubting only half the time? O: That's pretty good. I do know how you feel though. I've dealt, and still do to an extent, with these same sort of doubts and worries (e.g. that I may not be a Christian. So much so I kept saying "the prayer" any chance I got just to make sure).
In regards to "failing" God, that is something only He can decide. And since He loves you enough to die for you, I'm pretty sure most if not all "failures" are covered. Nothing can separate you from His love (see: Roman 8:31-39)

It seems like everything i do is some kind of horrible sin.

Sin is sin, one sin is not any more "horrible" than any other sin.

Is there something wrong with me? Am i not good enough? I don't understand, i'm just scared and confused...and i don't know what to do...

No, there is nothing wrong with you.
But no, you are not "good enough". No one is. Sorry to be a downer, but it is true and that's why God's love is so beautiful. No one deserves anything God has offered to us since we all keep messing up and kicking ourselves in the face, but God loves us anyways.


Thus, I encourage you to reach out and talk to God about your worries and doubts and be willing to trust in Him and rest in His peace.

Jesus said its not the well that need a physician but the sick. Jesus didn't come for all the perfect people (not that there are any) but he came for the people who mess up. that's the beauty of it.

Th-thanks you guys...i'm doing a little better now ^ ^;

Panda4christ:3 wrote:So, lately i feel like i'm continually failing God.
Like all i can do is mess-up

I never asked for this feel.

Pardon, i don't think i understand nate-san *gets the feeling she'll feel sheepish because it's probably really obvious...*

Hey, your not the only one who's felt this way. I've experienced much the same thing. But know this! The fact that you are so attuned to your sin and struggle says something profound. There is a sort of spiritual discernment that comes with the regenerated heart of a believer. The fact that you are so impacted by your own sin is a great evidence that you have that salvation. The unsaved Paul describes as ones who "suppress the truth." You are clearly not doing that, and some epic failure is to be expected in the human life. That is why Jesus was necessary! Your doubts are satan manipulating your flesh in order to make you doubt. So i would give you two passages to read and take heart. The first is Romans 7:7-24. Paul talks about the struggle between the spirit and the flesh. Take heart that one of the holiest men alive describes such a struggle, you are not alone. The second. Lastly, instead of being crushed, with the realization of sin, repent (which is not only confession, but also turning and running in the other direction of that sin). Then, out of grief for your sin strive to abide in Christ.

I'm praying for your confidence in Christ and that you begin to experience his grace all the more.

Here are links to the passages: You are not alone and Christ died for this very thing.

http://classic.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=romans%207&version=ESV
http://classic.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%203&version=ESV

Panda4christ:3 wrote:i don't think i understand nate-san

Nobody does. I'm the wind, baby!

But have you never heard the phrase "I never asked for this" used before? It's a fairly common saying (it's turned into kind of a meme from it being used in the game Deus Ex: Human Revolution). It's a phrase that basically means "I didn't want this to happen."

So your post made me feel feels. I never asked for that feel.

Panda4christ:3 (post: 1598444) wrote:Hi...

So, lately i feel like i'm continually failing God.
Like all i can do is mess-up, and i'm scared i may not really be a christian
or something. Half the time i'm doubting God.
It seems like everything i do is some kind of horrible sin.

Is there something wrong with me? Am i not good enough? I don't understand, i'm just scared and confused...and i don't know what to do...

Look at is this way; these feelings are good.

If you didn't care about God, if your faith meant nothing to you, you wouldn't be bothered. If serving God was just a casual thing that had no real value to it, you wouldn't be experiencing these feelings at all.

But you do care, it's obvious. God means something to you, and I get the feeling you're aware of how much He loves you and has done for you. But the thing is, we'll NEVER be able to match up to His level of perfection and Love. No matter how hard anyone tries, the most righteous of saints is less than a flickering candle to God's perfect light. This isn't to say that we shouldn't try our hardest, but the Bible makes it clear that we're not perfect, only forgiven.

I'll give you something to think about... imagine the world's most talented artist. Their paintings sell for millions of dollars and are in top museums around the world. They also have a three year old child. One day the child decides to draw a picture for daddy. It's crudely drawn stick figures, not at all like the master painter creates himself. But the painter sees that the child worked hard and wanted to give him something. He's not going to fault his child for failing to live up to himself. He's happy, brought to tears because the child loved him enough to try with what he had.

Don't sweat it

:3 hewwos!

Something I read a while ago and have to keep tellin myself:

God doesn't send the qualified, He qualifies the sent.

So basically it doesn't matter that we are human and mess up all the time, God qualifies us, we don't qualify ourselves. Praise God for that!

Thanks you guys, really :3...

but i, uhm, i'm not doin' so good now...think i seriously screwed it all up this time....

Panda4christ:3 (post: 1599230) wrote:Thanks you guys, really :3...

but i, uhm, i'm not doin' so good now...think i seriously screwed it all up this time....

Don'e be afraid that you blew everything. You can have complete faith and security in the fact that Jesus has dealt with ALL of your sin already. I'm very much like you in the fact that I have a hard time to trust that I will be forgiven, though I am getting better. I recommend that instead of dwelling on your sin to start to pray and read the Bible and try to learn more about God.
Remember that God loves you, more than you could ever imagine. His love is beyond our understanding, and you can rest in that security. But the Holy Spirit also convicts us of sin, and it makes us feel sick of the sin that we have done. But repent and ask for fogiveness and do your best to fight the sin, and search to come closer to God and learn more about His everlasting love for you! He'll never abandon you!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38-39

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, that no one should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

Panda4christ:3 (post: 1599230) wrote:Thanks you guys, really :3...

but i, uhm, i'm not doin' so good now...think i seriously screwed it all up this time....

There is this thing, it is called the sovreignty of God, and no matter how much you or I may be blundering idiots, we cannot screw it all up. Can we be stupid? Yes. Bring terrible consequences down on our heads? Yes. Be utterly undeserving of God's affection? Yes. But he never forsakes, and he us in total control of every square inch of the universe at every moment. So, take joy that you can't ultimately dictate any fates. Just focus on God's will and strive to live in accord with that. Also, I hope you read those passages from the earlier post!

It just gets worse...i don't know why i'm asking for help anymore...it's basically just me whining about life...

Lately there's this voice (kinda like a conscience) that keeps telling me i'm worthless
and that God hates me....and that i should just give up all together...that it's worthless...and everything in life is worthless...i've tried reading the bible, but it seems like every time i open it it's just stuff about sinners, fools, wickedness etc. and even when i read that it just says about God's wrath or something like that...the voice also tells me i should stop being a christian and just start living a life of sin, or somewhere inbetween (which i'm fairly sure is impossible). I know that's wrong, but no matter how hard i try, i just can't make the stupid thing go away, I feel lonely and devastated...there's no one i know of i can talk to or ask for help...and today i'm sposed to feel thankful...i hate myself...is this happening to me because i don't really spend an insanely large amount of time with God?

Again..i don't know why i'm even doing this anymore...i'm probably just depressing and annoying at this point...Sorry...didn't want to ruin anybodys thanksgiving...just being an idiot...sorry again...if i'm just dumping my problems on people than just disregard this...
Oh, =3 and happy thanksgiving!!! =D

Your conscience does NOT tell you that you're worthless. That voice you're hearing is from the father of lies himself: Satan.

I would suggest you talk to God BEFORE you read the Bible, to prep yourself for whatever He would like you to learn about Him in your reading.

Plus, you're 14. There's no need to be so hard on yourself.

Panda4christ:3 (post: 1599316) wrote:It just gets worse...i don't know why i'm asking for help anymore...it's basically just me whining about life...

Lately there's this voice (kinda like a conscience) that keeps telling me i'm worthless
and that God hates me....and that i should just give up all together...that it's worthless...and everything in life is worthless...i've tried reading the bible, but it seems like every time i open it it's just stuff about sinners, fools, wickedness etc. and even when i read that it just says about God's wrath or something like that...the voice also tells me i should stop being a christian and just start living a life of sin, or somewhere inbetween (which i'm fairly sure is impossible). I know that's wrong, but no matter how hard i try, i just can't make the stupid thing go away, I feel lonely and devastated...there's no one i know of i can talk to or ask for help...and today i'm sposed to feel thankful...i hate myself...is this happening to me because i don't really spend an insanely large amount of time with God?

Again..i don't know why i'm even doing this anymore...i'm probably just depressing and annoying at this point...Sorry...didn't want to ruin anybodys thanksgiving...just being an idiot...sorry again...if i'm just dumping my problems on people than just disregard this...
Oh, =3 and happy thanksgiving!!! =D

I have and am still going through the very same things as you do. I struggle with the feeling of worthlessness, that "voice" inside that keep telling you lies and the fear that God will be angry with me. (as well as everyday sin.)

But do not let these thoughts rule you! They are nothing but lies, lies that satan wants you to believe. Instead just remember that Jesus has PROMISED you that He'll never leave you behind, no matter how tough or bad it might get. I know that in the middle of this self-hate things might feel completely impossible, you feel like you will never get out of the suffering you are facing. But you can still rest in the fact that God has promised you to never let you go, and no matter how you feel inside He is still there. I cannot explain why these sufferings must happen, but if we perservere we will grow in our faith and these sufferings will make our faith greater than ever, just have faith!

You can PM me at anytime, I check CAA many times during the day and night! No need to worry about bothering me at all, in fact I'd be glad if you wanted to talk!

(As for the Bible, I think reading the story about Job would help you in understanding how suffering can affect us even if we haven't done anything special to deserve it, even the most holy and righteous man on earth can be going through suffering. And Romans is great to read as well to understand just how much God loves you and holds you dear)

Panda4christ:3 wrote:Lately there's this voice (kinda like a conscience) that keeps telling me i'm worthless

I always tell that voice "Tell me news, not history."

Until it tells me something I don't know I tend to ignore it or just go "Yeah okay so what do you want me to do about it?" and that usually shuts it up.

everything in life is worthless...

What about copper? It can make pennies, which are used as currency, and also is useful for creating electrical wires! Even if other things are worthless, you can rest assured that copper is not worthless.

So if we know copper is not worthless, that proves that not everything in life is worthless. And given that there are so many things in life, it would stand to reason that it's almost mathematically impossible that only one thing would have worth, therefore many things have worth.

I feel lonely and devastated...there's no one i know of i can talk to or ask for help...and today i'm sposed to feel thankful...i hate myself...

Man I set up the Feel Club thread for these feels and now I'm having feels in this thread.

i'm probably just depressing and annoying at this point...

Nah as an expert at being depressing and annoying you aren't that bad. You have a ways to go before you reach my level. :p

Panda4christ:3 (post: 1599316) wrote:It just gets worse...i don't know why i'm asking for help anymore...it's basically just me whining about life...

Lately there's this voice (kinda like a conscience) that keeps telling me i'm worthless
and that God hates me....and that i should just give up all together...that it's worthless...and everything in life is worthless...

This is a lie. I suppose I could give Biblical examples, but I'd be here all day. Everything in life is not worthless though, since God created it.
I will shoot the ever famous John 3:16 at you, though. Since you are part of "the world", logically God doesn't hate you. The verse wasn't written, "For God so loved the world, except for Panda4christ:3".

i've tried reading the bible, but it seems like every time i open it it's just stuff about sinners, fools, wickedness etc. and even when i read that it just says about God's wrath or something like that...

As a starting point, I personally recommend opening in about the middle of the Bible until you find Psalms. I find that they are encouraging (no fire and brimstone talk and the like). And in fact, a lot of them are pretty whiny, but they still demonstrate God's love for us.

the voice also tells me i should stop being a christian and just start living a life of sin, or somewhere inbetween (which i'm fairly sure is impossible).

Christians still sin, so I don't quite understand what you mean here. The only defining difference is that we are forgiven for any and all of our sins.

I know that's wrong, but no matter how hard i try, i just can't make the stupid thing go away,

I'm sorry, you probably won't be able to make it go away by yourself. Believe me, I've tried too.

is this happening to me because i don't really spend an insanely large amount of time with God?

I can't pretend to know why this is happening to you, but I will say it's a good idea to "spend time with God" all day every day if possible. No, I don't mean spending every waking hour praying or reading your Bible. But keep the communication line open. Avoid the idea of setting aside x amount of time for God time and the rest of the time you don't really involve Him in your life. Keep Him involved. Talk to Him whenever you feel troubled or worried about something. Communication with God shouldn't be like a phone box, where you have to be at a certain place at a certain time, but more like a blue-tooth headset you can take everywhere with you.

Again..i don't know why i'm even doing this anymore...i'm probably just depressing and annoying at this point...Sorry...didn't want to ruin anybodys thanksgiving...just being an idiot...sorry again...if i'm just dumping my problems on people than just disregard this...

Hello, welcome to my life (down to exact quotes I've said on a regular basis, it's scary). We can make a club. At least you have the courage to make a prayer thread about this, unlike me who just beats myself up in the solitude of my house.
Thing is, it's hard for a lot of people to accept themselves and their failures. We're all sinners and unfortunately, a relationship with God won't suddenly make us perfect (and anyone who tells you otherwise or seems perfect is a liar), but it will make us forgiven. Thus, the best thing to learn is how to see yourself how God sees you, forgiven.
Obviously, we shouldn't really just go out and sin on purpose, but sin is going to happen. Learning to see yourself as God sees you can relieve a lot of the stress of "being good", I think.
If you don't know how God sees you, ask Him honestly about it!

You are not a bad person. The fact that you recognize what's happening is half the battle. Some people (I could mention names) never realize that what they're doing is bad and refuse to change it. You have already cleared that hurdle, so congradulate yourself.

Making girls feel worthless is the Devil's absolute favorite weapon. Let me tell you a secret. Take a look at the creation story. Everything he makes gets more complex over time. Light is pretty simple, but the moon was harder. So, if woman was created last, that means she is the most beautiful, complicated thing in all of creation.

Seeking out help IS NOT WHINING! If it was, we'd all be guilty of it.

You're not worthless. No one is. The journey of a Christian is not about where you are but where you are going.

If God thought you were worth dying for, then why is there any need to feel like God finds you worthless?

Oh wow, first of all i would like to thank you all for your help and support, i am feeling so much better now :>.

*Panda hugs everyone*

sorry for the late thankyou >.<
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my whining, it was very considerate of you guys :3
And once more...*panda hugs* X3