Okami’s Mental Health Report

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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Sun Jul 13, 2014 4:34 pm

So...um...hi friends! XD; It's been an awkwardly long month of no updates here. My apologies for that.

Last thing you knew, I was taken immediately off the medication that gave me an allergic reaction. Once I made it back in to see my psychiatrist (about a week and a half later), he agreed that I was doing well enough to remain on one med! :D And in regards to that, things have been pretty smooth. I've had my moments where the illnesses flare up, but nothing that's gone beyond anything that can't be handled.

There's more to be said, but for now I can't reveal details...just that I'm ridiculously busy these days. xP
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby SincerelyAnomymous » Sun Jul 13, 2014 4:43 pm

Glad to hear Okami! I think God has truly blessed you through this harsh time and will make sure this keeps up.
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:45 pm

Yes indeed! There has been a pouring out of blessings that I just can't understand. I see my flaws and limitations, the struggle I have with my emotions and how to control them (especially when I chew my boy out as a result of my instability... :mutter: ), but God has been working all the while!

He has been good through all things. Things I can hardly understand. Like the reality that I'm in a committed, loving relationship. That my symptoms only tend to flare up in high stress. That there are many things the future holds and that I actually have a grasp that this is REAL. I mean like, reality is real. Now is real. Existence is real. My future has some semblance of purpose. I don't know how many here can totally comprehend that, but for a long, long time in the emptiness and chaos, I couldn't understand.

So, yeah. Some things have more clarity; praise Jesus! :jump:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby ClaecElric4God » Sun Jul 13, 2014 7:16 pm

Praise the Lord, I'm so excited for you, Okami! :hug: And always praying.
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8 KJV
They have shewed thee, O teen, what is good; and what doth the world require of thee, but to fit in, be wealthy, have good looks, and be rebellious? -Peer Pressure 1:1
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:58 am

I'm so glad to hear, Okami!!! :D
(Sorry I haven't been around. Life has been crazy lately.)
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:29 am

Hey thanks guys! :D God is good!
(And it's okay Sheena, I understand. :))

Life is pretty decent right now. Crazy in itself, but decent. Things are getting done and time is moving forward. And hey, it's been a year since this thread began! Wow, what a year, huh? Looking back through it all simply shows God in all His majesty in glory and how much He has been working in my life, even in the darkest of times. :jump:

On an unrelated note, my boy (aka the Bear) is officially a member of CAA! So happy to welcome Ryosuke to this little community. You'll probably see him around here, perhaps giving updates of his own on what he's been seeing in my recovery, too~ :hug:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby MomentOfInertia » Mon Jul 21, 2014 3:32 pm

For you Okami, we shall bear his presence. :P
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Mon Jul 21, 2014 5:56 pm

Yay! Welcome, Ryosuke! :)

Okami, thank you for sharing your journey with us for the past year. I just want to say that I have been encouraged by you! You are doing great! Keep up the good work. God is faithful. :)
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Banana Lobster » Mon Jul 21, 2014 7:54 pm

You are an incredibly strong and kind person Okami, and it's it wonderful to hear that things are beginning to look up for you. :) (Yeah, I'm late; I'm working on that, really :sweat:)

MomentOfInertia wrote:For you Okami, we shall bear his presence. :P

...Please stop.
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:27 pm

MomentOfInertia wrote:For you Okami, we shall bear his presence. :P

:lol:

Sheenar wrote:Yay! Welcome, Ryosuke! :)

Okami, thank you for sharing your journey with us for the past year. I just want to say that I have been encouraged by you! You are doing great! Keep up the good work. God is faithful. :)


Thank you, Sheena! I know I recently said similar things of your journey, too. :n_n: God is ever faithful, indeed!~ :jump:


Banana Lobster wrote:You are an incredibly strong and kind person Okami, and it's it wonderful to hear that things are beginning to look up for you. :) (Yeah, I'm late; I'm working on that, really :sweat:)

MomentOfInertia wrote:For you Okami, we shall bear his presence. :P

...Please stop.


Haha, thanks BL! It's been a wonderful blessing to see God work. Thank you for the support you've shown, even if it's just in spontaneous chat conversation. XD
(And hey, you have to admit that was a pretty good pun by MOI. ;) )

---

Tonight, I ended counseling. On to the next adventure! :thumb:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Ryosuke » Tue Jul 22, 2014 6:01 pm

My first post on this thread! My sweet Okami... I sincerely don't deserve you... I'm glad that here there are many who support you as family. I look forward to reading the entire post. Still, I'm excited that so many of these things that used to be restraints are being lifted. That despite all the stress that you are holding together as well as you have. I know you say you chew me out sometimes, and admittedly it happens. But its what partners are for <3 You make me strong where I am weak and I want to do the same for you.

As for everyone else, the puns may seem unbearable, but I find them beary endearing
~*~Blessedly married to Okami!~*~
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Thu Jul 24, 2014 8:27 pm

Okami wrote:After going about with him, talking to jewelers, and creating the design for my ring, I wonder how the engagement ring will turn out. I wonder how long it will be until that day (knowing it is several months out)... I wonder how much effort will be put into patience... :sweat:

You know, God’s funny that way…“knowing it is several months out.” Yeah, okay! ‘Cause, “several months out”, from that time and now, Ryosuke and I will be married. Where He moves, we go.

Okami wrote:There's more to be said, but for now I can't reveal details...just that I'm ridiculously busy these days. xP

This was in regards to the engagement and wedding planning, a month after our engagement. Things are moving right along. :n_n:

Ryosuke wrote:My first post on this thread! My sweet Okami... I sincerely don't deserve you... I'm glad that here there are many who support you as family. I look forward to reading the entire post. Still, I'm excited that so many of these things that used to be restraints are being lifted. That despite all the stress that you are holding together as well as you have. I know you say you chew me out sometimes, and admittedly it happens. But its what partners are for <3 You make me strong where I am weak and I want to do the same for you.

As for everyone else, the puns may seem unbearable, but I find them beary endearing

My sweet Bear~ This thread speaks of things you already know; you have seen my monsters and fought them beside me. I’m grateful for you to be here on CAA to add the contributions as a friend who sees, from an off-screen prospective, the healing, restorative power of Christ in my life. That you can testify to my words within this thread, and add your own as you see fit.

Wordswordswords.

- - -

So, with the announcement of our engagement here (by which I made sure I had express permission to share :P), things have changed in moving forward. Before ever making any official steps forward, I have stopped the process towards getting SSI. As Ryosuke and I are getting married in December, it wouldn’t make sense to apply.

I’ve talked with Disability Advocates about it, and as a couple because of his income, we would be over the monthly limit. It takes 6 months to a year to even be initially considered, and it’s already likely I would be denied that first time anyhow because mental illness disability isn’t even given much of a chance, and that would be my primary reason for trying to get the benefits. As I am getting married in less than the potential earliest for hearing back from them, there is really no reason to continue forward in it.

We realize this makes things tighter on us, financially, so we are working together to figure out where we can take steps to cover the basics, and trust God through everything.

My family has been extremely helpful in easing the high stress that planning a wedding can give (especially one in 6 months from the time of engagement). Some things have simply fallen into place, taking away what would have caused much anxiety; God has shown Himself faithful, as always! It’s been a blessing as a whole, between God’s workings and my family, as some areas are already covered and both Ryosuke and I have been given certain tasks to focus upon so as not to get caught in the massiveness of our day!

We’re working to move forward, one step at a time, following the guidance of the Holy Spirit as we make the transition towards what we hope and pray will the rest of our lives together.

Again I can reiterate,
Okami wrote:I am blessed with someone who cares about my mental health.
:hug:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Fri Jul 25, 2014 10:12 pm

I am so happy and excited for you, dear friend!! :D


Ryosuke wrote:As for everyone else, the puns may seem unbearable, but I find them beary endearing


I love puns, so you're cool with me. :)

(In fact, I made one up this morning when making my breakfast smoothie: Why were the melons sad? Because they cantaloupe. lol)
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Ryosuke » Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:05 pm

Okami- I'm blessed to have you. I'm here to help however I can. And for everyone else reading this 1) thank you for supporting the love of my life and 2) if you read this relatively soon, please pray for Okami's phisical health as well, she been enduring an insufferable evil cold thing...
I'm really proud of how well your doing on one med <3

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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Wed Jul 30, 2014 4:05 pm

Good pun!! I've heard that one --it is a favorite. :)

Did you hear about the man whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now!

Back on topic, I will definitely pray that Okami feels better soon!! Colds are no fun and are draining!
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective spinning of English teachers in their graves."
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Thu Aug 07, 2014 2:56 pm

I love these puns. :XD:

As Ryosuke pointed out, I have been sick. It's been two weeks and it's finally, FINALLY kind of on the mend. I just have a cough these days...
It was really strenuous on my mental health, though, as I was dissociating under stress, even simple arguments between the Bear and I. The episodes didn't tend to last long, a few minutes at most, but it was always really taxing every time I'd come back to.

The exception to this was an episode that lasted about 20 minutes, which we believe was also a period of demonic oppression. When I finally came back around and was able to tell of the "nightmare" I'd experienced, Ryosuke and I prayed over it and commanded anything that might have been there to leave in the name of Jesus Christ. This was the only episode that didn't seem to have any real beginning, as he hadn't even been in the room when it began (and to my knowledge, there was nothing that could have triggered it!) :(

All that being said, we talked to my psychiatrist about it and truly believe I was susceptible to these things because of this draining sickness. We were also able to discuss with him some areas of our future regarding our marriage and get doctor's recommendation in moving forward on getting Ryosuke a vasectomy since insurance will not pay without a medical reason...

After much discussion, we have realized that it won't be safe for me to have biological children (pregnancy would require being off medication, which in the past has caused a rapid deterioration in my mental health) and we don't want to risk hospitalization again, especially not when I would be risking my health and a baby's! There are various other things, but the safety of my life is ultimately what comes first for us. We figure if we ever do want kids, we'll adopt. :) My psychiatrist's understanding that we know what we're getting into and agreeing that it's best to keep me safe and deciding to help us move forward is a huge blessing to us! :D

And in the end, he's decided to keep me on one medication, which is a continued blessing! And I'm down to one appointment a month!

A day of much accomplishment, if you ask me! :thumb:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Thu Aug 07, 2014 11:04 pm

Glad to hear you are feeling better! :)

And I understand about not having biological children --it would be unsafe for me as well (it wouldn't be wise to pass on my genetics). So I get to be the cool, fun "aunt" to my friends' children. And maybe adopt one day. :)

Getting down to one appointment a month is a good accomplishment! That's great! :)
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Sun Aug 17, 2014 5:33 pm

Thank you, Sheena! :D

And yeah...mental health issues aside, there's also the physical struggle of having Cerebral Palsy to throw in the mix, too. So, yay genes! xP Hey, we get to the cool, fun aunts together!~ :thumb:

Indeed, it makes a lot of things a ton easier on myself, in my relationship, and lessens the stress of a constant concern/anxiety that maybe the psychiatrist will decide to suddenly switch things up. :n_n:

--

Life right now is interesting. I got to hang out with my best friends last week and go bridesmaid dress hunting! They found some great dresses, so I'm super excited! :D And this next week I'll be finishing up neurofeedback (finally!)... As I said, life is interesting right now. xD
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Sat Aug 23, 2014 9:47 am

It might seem trivial, but this week is the first time Ryosuke and I have been physically apart in a month...I'm back home doing some house-sitting for my family. It's taxing mentally, and in the past distance increased our arguments/fights/disagreements. My mental health is a bit shaky lately, so I'm afraid of that again... :(

Please pray for us, that we might be able to focus on what needs to be done in this time apart.
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby ClaecElric4God » Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:09 am

Definitely praying for you, Okami. Trust me, I feel your pain...
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8 KJV
They have shewed thee, O teen, what is good; and what doth the world require of thee, but to fit in, be wealthy, have good looks, and be rebellious? -Peer Pressure 1:1
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Sun Aug 24, 2014 4:53 pm

Praying, my friend. <3
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Sun Aug 31, 2014 7:36 am

The Bear and I made it through the week. Thank you for praying, my friends.

Finally, a day of rest! :D
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Sheenar » Sun Aug 31, 2014 6:26 pm

Glad to hear!! :)
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Ryosuke » Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:05 pm

The wolf seems to have forgotten to mention what transpired on our date yesterday at sunset. I'm relatively sure she will give a link with photos shortly. XD It's good news people, very happy good news <3
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:45 pm

Ryosuke wrote:The wolf seems to have forgotten to mention what transpired on our date yesterday at sunset. I'm relatively sure she will give a link with photos shortly. XD It's good news people, very happy good news <3


Oh, you mean this? :hug:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Banana Lobster » Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:46 pm

Congratulations you guys, that's great! :D
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby MomentOfInertia » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:20 pm

Congratulations!
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby ClaecElric4God » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:30 pm

Congrats, Okami.
He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? -Micah 6:8 KJV
They have shewed thee, O teen, what is good; and what doth the world require of thee, but to fit in, be wealthy, have good looks, and be rebellious? -Peer Pressure 1:1
"I hate milk; it's like drinking vomit." -Edward Elric and me. :fmed:
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ClaecElric4God in regards to Wolfsong - You're the coolness scraped off the top of this morning's ice cream, after being pulled out of a beautiful summer day!
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Sun Sep 07, 2014 10:42 pm

Thank you, my friends :)

Good news as of Friday in terms of my psychiatric treatment - after discussion with Ryosuke and my psychiatrist, despite a lot of current recent stress and episodic-type symptoms, because of the circumstantial nature of everything my psychiatrist has agreed to let me/us continue the course. And he's not seeing me again until near the end of October!

God is good. I am grateful to have the opportunity to lean more on Him and my fiance and other support in this time, allowing me to focus more on my relationship, wedding prep, and house-hunting. Praise You, Jesus! :jump:
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Re: Okami’s Mental Health Report

Postby Okami » Tue Sep 16, 2014 12:22 am

Mentally exhausted. I feel broken.

Too much going on right now. I am overwhelmed.
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